I’m going to tell you why I lack fear in business.
It’s because I fear something so much.
I fear the health and well-being of my family so much, and I mean I’m crippled by it. Hence, why, when you’re a grown-ass man and you get up during a vacation and go to some weird corner and pray for your mom to wake up. You know? This really happens to me.
I am so fearful of the health and well-being of the 10 to 15 people closest to me in my life. It is disproportionately the most important thing in the world to me that it just makes everything else so easy.
The thought of losing all of my money is often so weirdly exciting because I know I have the talent to rise back up. Money doesn’t mean anything to me. I want legacy, influence, and impact.
I thought that would go away when I had kids, and it has to some degree, but not really. I think that’s how it plays out in other people’s lives right? You’re scared to die? Scared to lose, scared to try? Not me.
That’s why I’m so in tune with my feelings. I’m all in. I dream of buying the Jets or having somebody say, “This is it. This was the guy. He was the best entrepreneur of this generation.” Then I think about that title being anointed upon me and then immediately getting a phone call and hearing that my mom died in a car accident. None of it would matter.
I would be devastated. Then I see how I feel and since I feel awful, well then why in the world would I get caught up in the money or the business? You only have one life. I live mine in the moment. I care deeply about every human interaction I have. In those meetings, I’m not thinking about business, or money, or success. I’m thinking about life. About what really matters. About the individual standing right in front of me.
There’s definitely personal vulnerabilities that I have that I’m aware of, but boy, I am super not scared when it comes to business. I’ve been doing it my whole life. I’ve always been good at it. There is no reason to fear money or a meeting or a deal. Why does it matter? You can’t sell the unsellable. You can’t change the way the other person treats you in the moment. You can’t change their perception, or circumstance or what they had for breakfast that morning that has put them in a bad mood. So why let it bother you? You have to deploy understanding, empathy and compassion. You have to be you, and not be afraid to fail.
Maybe it’s my DNA, but I also think it’s a learned behavior. I’ve seen it happen with those around me and I’ve watched them grow. My assistant @tyler has become an absolute monster when it comes to his confidence. After having him work at Vayner for year and a half, he’s now shaking hands and doing deals with the biggest names in business. It just takes time. Confidence builds and reality set in. You lose your fear of not doing, not trying, not caring what other people think.
You become free, and then the fun really begins to start.
Once you find perspective, anything is possible.
Hope this helps!
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